Answer:
There is a steep contradiction between her Mexican identity and the English-speaking country. Her name in English stands for hope while in Mexican, it suggests muddiness, bad luck, and sadness. The narrator says that Mexican identity does not provide her that strength to become what she wanted to be(like her grandmother) as it considers her bad luck but the latter allows her to be more 'real' and thus, she wishes to immerse herself into her new name and identity.
